Sayyidi wa sanadi Hazrat Moulana Mohammad Taqi Usmani sahib (Allah SWT preserve him & allow us to benefit from him abundantly. Ameen!) said:
“The thing to acquire from the pious (buzurg) is the fanayiat (annihilation of self-suggestions/desires/expectations). People consider taking wird, azkar, ashagals and litanies etc from them. But the essential thing to take is this fanayiat. That is total effacement of self suggestions, opinions, expectations and complete submission to the commands of Shariah.
It is acquired by accompanying the pious.
Their suhba is essential:
To observe them practicing Shariah in different settings.
To learn from their attitude & behavior.
To correct yourself by their way of practice and implementing Shariah.
To uphold to their chastisement.
To be ready for trials and testing by them, in order to test your sincerity.
To submit to their instructions wholeheartedly.
To do each and every major action in your life with their consultation and approval.
And if this suhba is not readily available then it is essential to correspond with them via letters, mail, phone etc. (As explained in earlier posts.)
Also, important and perhaps most beneficial for this is the study of the malfoozat (suhba talks/utterances) of Hakeemul Ummat Hazrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi quddus sirrahu. Reading them regularly will allow you to absorb the style/disposition of Hakeemul Ummat ra.
Equally significant is the study of the biography of our pious elders (buzurg) in acquiring it. Books like: Ashraf us sawanih (Hakeemul Ummat ra’s biography), Tazkirat ur Rasheed (Moulana Rasheed Ahmed Gangohi ra’s bio), Tazkiratul Khalil (Moulana Khalil Ahmed ra’s bio).
If all of these are done sincerely and seriously, inshaAllah, gradually this fanayiat will eventually develop and grow to the optimum level required.”