Things to look for in a Son-in-law

An individual wrote to Hazrat Hakeemul Ummat Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanavi ra regarding the marriage of his daughters. He expressed his dilemma about the potential bride-groom. That is, if he was religious his financial circumstances were miserable. And if he was financially well to do his religious adherence was poor.

Hazrat Thanavi ra commented that;

“Finding real religiosity is almost impossible these days, even in the seemingly observant individuals.

However, for the best bride-groom selection the following criteria will be useful;

  1. He should neither have any doubts about, nor should he ridicule any of the Islamic beliefs and teachings.
  2. He must have the potential capability to improve. This is evident by his respecting the scholars and pious elderly.
  3. He should be mild mannered. (Not getting angry very easily and all the time). This is essential for expecting him to fulfill the rights of his dependants.
  4. He should have the sufficient financial means (to support his family).

If an individual has these characteristics it will be appropriate to accept such a person as son-in-law. Afterwards with increased intermingling and communication with him congeniality (munasabet) will develop. And for a person with all these qualities it will be most possible that his condition improves for better and he becomes a really observant Muslim.

Ma’asir e Hakeemul Ummat ra page 183