Shaikh Mufti Mohammad Rafi’ Usmani (Allah preserve him) said,
‘A friend of mine consulted me regarding a marital dispute. He told me that his wife wanted many stylish and good quality (obviously modest) dresses for her daily use. He disagreed claiming that this was wasteful (israf) and three dresses per a year should be suffice. That is one for summer, another for winter and the third one for Eid (& special occasions). The wife would not agree to this and this discussion was deteriorating their marital relationship. He requested for a solution?
I (Mufti sahib) told him that him that his stand was incorrect. In matters like this, one has to look at the common practice prevalent (‘urf) in the society he is living in. Based on this principle he has to take in to account his social, professional and financial status, place of residence, the standards of the community he socializes with and then decide what is the decent quality, style and number of dresses required by his wife.
Furthermore, one should be reminded that our beloved Prophet Mohammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) told us that the best philanthropy (sadqa) done is that on one’s wife and children.
These are the principles and practices that have to be actively learned from a Sahikh by having an effective islahi relationship.
Without such a relationship practicing real Deen remains elusive. Moreover, close relationships become sour and marital life becomes miserable. ‘
Qari Rafeeq’s residence, Safa distt, Jeddah, bayan after maghrib, 20th January 2012