Category Archives: J. Rights

Living in joint family

In response to a question regarding living in joint family Ashrafiya replied,

It is highly discouraged these days.

However, you have to be very gentle, humble and diplomatic in conveying this to your parents.

Do it slowly. Be open. Prepare well before the discussion. Show extreme empathy and understanding. Stress that you are totally committed for close family ties and it is only to maintain these it is in the best interest of all to live separately. It can be upper lower level or adjacent or same neighborhood residence.

Make lot of dua regarding this. InshaAllah best will happen.

Islahi emails:TA

Accommodate & Adjust

A novice seeker wrote,

In the summer time, due to the extreme times for Isha and Fajr, is it ok if I pray Maghrib with jamat, Isha at home and then Fajr with jamat or should I aim to pray all the salats with jamat.

Ashrafiya replied,

Yes.

Adjust and accommodate as the situation requires.

Do not be rigid and do not set unrealistic goals. Both of these lead to disater. Allahuma hafizna.
Jamat itself is desired. (Try to do it at home)

Make istegfar for missing the masjid.
We are weak and its is reflecteive of our slavehood(abdiyet) more to do so.

Islahi emails:TA

Treatment for Pornography Addiction

A seeker wrote,

I am writing in regards to a very serious problem that I reported earlier too. I am feel extremely ashamed to write about this but I have to disclose the gravity of the issue in detail.

Ashrafiya replied,
This feeling, discussion and attempt to improve a destructive condition is in itself a huge blessing of Allah. This is what they call ‘kibreyet-e-ahmar‘ the red sulphur. That is the alchemy compound that changes wrought iron to pure gold. MashaAllah.

The seeker continued,

I got seriously addicted to pornography and masturbation a long time back (~10 years). I can’t even count the hours, days, months of valuable time that I have wasted to this ugly habit. So many qada salats as a result. So many missed classes at university. It won’t be exagerration to say that my university grades badly suffered, but Allah was immensly Kareem that He still granted me enough grades to survive and a good job thereafter. I even watched it at work, despite the fear that I might get caught and expelled. It was literally my drug of choice to escape the world’s challenges. A report that I don’t want to write at school, a problem stuck at work, anger at someone. Always found temporary escape in this habit, only to face the realities in tougher circumstances later on. I am extremely ashameful to write this, but even during some fasts in Ramadan, I just gave up to the urge and acted out. I can’t even remember the number of times that I repented. Allah has been immensly kareem that He kept my honour and dignity despite years of being a very bad slave, astahgfirullah. I was and still am deeply shackled. But I must thank Allah that despite extreme desire and abundant opportunities I refrained from any further steps.
But even at that time I wasn’t very willingly doing it. Part of me always wanted to get rid of this habit. I used to give myself this false hope that marriage will end this misery, rather than doing something about it then. And then I got married to a very beautiful lady by the grace of Allah. Of course each person has plus and minuses but she was honestly crafted to my liking Alhamdulillah. But it seems it was too late until then, I was so used to pleasing myself in a certain way that I could not find proper pleasure in married sexual life. In my mind I used to blame her for not being cooperative enough. Even after Alhamdulillah the cutest baby girl was born she was sick for a few months and then ofcourse the new child brought new challenges like lack of sleep which deeply affected intimacy. All in all my sexual life has been in complete disarray. To be honest even during our intercourses I was always thinking about other women. I must also mention that I was also indulged in a greater evil of reading erotic stories. That honestly was 100 times worse than watching porn (which by the grace of Allah SWT I have given up for a long time now). That really made my mentality a lot uglier and I still feel the effect to this date. I can’t even write but the worst kinds of thoughts would be in mind all the time like swinging etc. I always had in my mind the strict Islamic penalties of doing something physical so I just chose to remain in a virtual world.
Alhamdulillah especially since my islahi talluq I have worked on many things and noticed significant improvements, for example controlling my gaze and back biting. One difference I feel between this and the other issues is that despite looking at other ladies or talking about other behind their back being source of temporary pleasure, there is not a strong inherent urge for me to do it. But this to me is like hunger, I just get an extremely strong urge to act out. I will feel pain and weird tingling feelings in my lower abdomen. My heart rate will start elevating and dropping. Sometimes I fight the urges for a few days but then give in. And to be honest its like one of things where you want to give up but at the same time you don’t want to give up. When I tell myself I have to give it up for good, I can’t answer how will I satisfy my sexual urges then.
For a while I did the 8 raka’ats to make up for every time I acted out but then got lazy and stopped doing it properly, or may be it just became a routine. Sometimes I stop doing sincere repentance, as my inner voice says to me, what’s the point when you know will return.
Even during my morning daily routine (zikr, Quran or dua) I just feel the strong urges.

I am so sorry for such a long write-up but I am really writing with a lot of hope inshaAllah. I feel really frustrated. I have felt like a prisoner in my own body for so many years now.

Ashrafiya replied,

JazakAllah for this open and honest report.
May Allah make it easier for both of us to gain His pleasure. Ameen!

InshaAllah, we will work on it together to improve the conditions.

1.Keep a strong hope that by Allah’s support you will build up powerful determination to get rid of this evil from your life. Mayosi haram hay.

  1. Make sincere repentance after reading this letter. Pray two rakats salatul tawbah and sit infront of Allah. Acknowledge all the blessings Allah has bestowed on you, like being, body, mental capacities, health, welath, family, job, etc etc. Then acknowledge your short commings. Tell Him that you have no place to go. Tell Him that you are weak and shackled by your desires. You want to give up this and be a obidient servant. Ask Allah for help and support in doing so. Try to cry or make your facial expression like it. Do this is detail. Do it whenever you fail. Never give up hope.
  2. Then onwards make a fresh start with a renewed determination.
  3. After every salat ask Allah for help in this matter in particular. Also pray that you develop nafrat-e-tabi’i from pornogrphy (i.e. aversion like that from urine and feces).
  4. Try your best to keep yourself busy.
  5. Limit your time on internet.
  6. Make sure your diet does not have any dubious or haram in it.
  7. Take your spouse in confidence. Be open with her and tell her that what you are going through and it will be unhealthy for both of you and the marriage and the children if this continues. This will need courage. However, it is essential.
  8. Talk to yourself daily for 3 minutes about how destructive this is for yourself. In addition to being sinful and displeasing to Allah it is violation of the rights of your wife, your obligations of being a son, husband and a father. It is waste of the bodily resources, valueable time and money. The pleasure it gives is short lived and followed by guilt and shame, etc. etc
  9. Please, keep me informed whenever you fail. Do not feel ashamed. InshaAllah together we will do it. I am making dua in this regards. Amy Allah SWT help us. Amin!

Islahi emails:TA

Imam Hussain’s message

Grand Mufti of Pakistan Mufti Mohammed Shafi (Allah have mercy on him) writes,

Read the details of martyrdom from beginning till end, reflect on the correspondence and sermons of honorable (Imam) Hussain (Allah be pleased with him). You will find that his goals were,

1. Implementation of the rulings of Quran and Sunna in the truest sense

2. Reinstating the Islamic system of justice again

3. Continuous struggle (Jihad) against the innovation of monarchy and dictatorship which replaced Islam’s way of khilafet e nabuwat.

4. Not being intimidated by power and wealth when defending the truth (Haqq)

5. Sacrifice one’s life, family and all possessions when defending the truth (Haqq)

6. Not to be distressed in situation of fear and hardship by remembering Allah all the time, having complete trust (tawakul) in Him and being thankful to Him in all situations.

Is there anyone who listens to this message of beloved of Prophet of Allah (Allah bless him & grant him peace), the victim of Karbala, the persecuted martyr?

Is there (someone) ready to fulfill his mission? Follow his footsteps, making his noble morals and praiseworthy actions the goal of his own life?

O Allah! Grant us Your’s , Your Prophet’s (Allah bless him & grant him peace), his noble Companions’ and his perfect families’ comprehensive love and exhaustive following. Ameen!

Shaheed e Karbala, p 6-7

The first step

A seeker wrote

A year after Hajj ALLAH has blessed us with a daughter Allhamdulliah!!. Since then I really got involved with her. I tried my best to be devoted but I realized that my iman is getting weaker and weaker. I was not able to do those things which i used to do before and while taking care of her and home I get frustrated and when ever I get chance like when she sleeps or so, i use to watch drama on internet instead of doing ibadat . . my mother’s side family takes care about the farz ibadat like salat , zakat , & fasting but on my father’s side family they don’t care about the farz ibadaat i dont know about zakat whether they give zakat or not. They usually care about sunnat. My dadihaal is more like not follwing the religion. I am informing you this because i do not know why but i am like my dadihaal’s side it became part of my nature i always try not to be like them but some where inside me its persent. I do fulfill the basic farz ibadaat now Allahmdullilah & try to do nafli ibadaats but i cant do it in punctually like for example i usually recite Quran daily but at some point i do not. I used to listen islamic lectures and read islamic books but again after some time period I don’t.

Ashrafiya replied,

These days most families are like this.

We should thank Allah abundantly that He is guiding us towards Himself.

We can not judge others.

Some people who are outwardly irreligious may have strong eman internally and eventually outrun others in Here-after.

Our primary concern is salvation of ourself.

Focus on the essentials (faraiz) for now. Especially salah. Pray regularly on time. It is a must.

Keep a record of any namaz that is missed and qaza not done.


Try to read at least one page from the books of sayyidi wa sanadi Mawlana Mufti Mohammad Taqi Usmani sahib (Islahi majalis) or listen to the waaz online for 10 -15 mins daily.

Make dua aftet each salah in detail for whatever bothers you or you desire (3-5 minutes).


Recite kalimah tayyiba (la illaha ilAllah u) with occansiional (Muhammadur Rasool Allah, sallalaho alhe wasalam) while doing the house hold chores.

Islahi emails:MTA

Wird & Multitasking

A seeker wrote,

I noticed that increasingly I have begun to finish the daily tasbeehat on the go (while driving, walking etc) to save time, even when I am not really crunched by time. Would it be more recommended to try to force my self to properly sit down and do tasbeehat as much as possible.

Ashrafiya replied,
Multitasking in ma’amolat is not good. Especially for starters like me and you.

Try your best to do them properly in their allocated time.

Only if you are running late or there is an emergency you can complete them while you do other stuff.

Islahi emails:TA

Wird & Multitasking

A seeker wrote,

I noticed that increasingly I have begun to finish the daily tasbeehat on the go (while driving, walking etc.) to save time, even when I am not really crunched by time. Would it be more recommended to try to force my self to properly sit down and do tasbeehat as much as possible.

Ashrafiya replied,
Multitasking in ma’amolat is not good. Especially for starters like me and you.

Try your best to do them properly in their allocated time.

Only if you are running late or there is an emergency you can complete them while you do other stuff.

Islahi emails:TA

Delay in feedback

A seeker wrote,

I definitely felt a weakness in spirituality due to not writing on time. Right after Ramadan, the final report of my Master’s course was due which kept me quite busy.

Ashrafiya replied,
Do not worry.

Genuine reason for such delay is not a problem.

It is only deliberate carelessness and heedlessness that is detrimental. Allah save us both from it. Amin!

Islahi emails:TA

Involvement in Islamic Associations

A seeker wrote,

I wish to inquire about involvement in the local Islamic association. As I mentioned earlier the local association in our split into two groups due to internal differences. Unfortunately egos were flying high on both sides and a lot of actions were done in the ‘zid’ of the other party. e.g. One side opened up a musalla and the other bought a house for mosque purpose 1km away. The two sides were also planning to conduct taraweeh literally across the street from each other (which is sad since the resources could have been allocated to help out muslims on other parts of the city). Alhamdulillah a member of our community worked very hard to unite them and convince for one taraweeh salat during this blessed month. I was helping him out too.

I have noticed that in these situations, conflicts, politics, argumentation and other negative characters do arise (even if you try your best to steer away, people will oppose). But on the other hand I feel that if one leaves this completely either things won’t be done or others will get things done their way.

Please suggest a course of action.

Ashrafiya replied,

It is best to keep a low profile.

This does not mean to be totally passive. The correct view/truth should be stated in a firm and explicit way. One should personally stick to it. If people ask his opinion specifically he should tell it point blank.

However, this should not become an agitation movement. This ruins ones spirituality. Instead one should make lot of dua, salat hajjat, etc. for haqq to prevail.

Continue with your present way. Make lot of dua asking Allah for guidance at each and every step. (A concise istekhara dua is: Allahahuma khirli wakhtarli).

However, whenever you feel that this involvement is damaging your spirituality withdraw and help by dua only.

Islahi emails:TA

Missing Fajr

In his biweekly progress report a seeker reported missing fajr salah multiple times.

Ashrafiya replied,

More effort needs to be done for this.

However, do not be disappointed.

InshaAllah, there is some Divine wisdom in our mistakes. They up root the self admiration (ujub), arrogance (kibr) and show us our true face.

May Allah SWT make them a learning lesson for us. Amin!

Islahi emails:TA

Informing the mentor

A seeker inquired,

This question is regarding the spiritual ailments for which a course of action and consequentially a penalty has been precribed e.g. Offering a number of nafl salat. Should I be informing the spiritual mentor (Hazrat) 1) if unfortunately an action was done so that a penalty was applicable and 2) If the penalty was offered.

Ashrafiya replied,

Not all the time.

Inform only if after a considerable period of time there is no change in frequency of these incident. It is a sign that present treatment in not working something else has to be used.

Islahi emails:TA

Excuses

A seeker wrote, I wish to get more detail on one of the reasons “making explanations for one’s mistakes”. Does this refer to explanation in islahi makatib? e.g. if the salik explains why he thinks a certain shortcoming is occurring.
Please explain.

Ashrafiya replied,
Blame worthy thing is to create an excuse for one’s mistake. The mistakes should be acknowledged and full responsibilty taken. If there are genuine circumstance that led to it they can be mentioned as a matter of fact. The same is true for islahi corrspondence also.

Islahi emails:TA

Praying qaza salah

A seeker wrote

One area that is going weak lately is making up the missed salats. Perhaps any goal in this regard would be helpful inshaAllah. Please make special dua for me in this regard.

Ashrafiya replied,
Yes. It is essential to complete the missed salah as soon as possible. Try to pray one qaza salah with each daily salah.

Substitute ishraq, awabeen and tahajud (four rakah between sunna and witr at esha) with qaza salah.

InshaAllah, it will be facilitated by Allah’s mercy.

Islahi emails:TA

Reviewed and approved by sanadi wa sanadi Mufti Mohammed Taqi Usmani (Allah protect & preserve him)