O Allah! make me cognizant of my real status and save me from complex ignorance & arrogance.
And facilitate for me the first step of spiritual journey (sulook) : the self annihilation (fana) and give me complete servitude with the Sunna humility and serenity.
Lately, I have been thinking about how to develop good character (akhlaq) in my dealings and social interaction with others. I have always been a very quiet and withdrawn person who hardly socializes with anyone. I am not quite sure if this is because I have ego issues or if its shyness. However, I am leaning towards the former. When it comes to greeting peace (salam), I am always hesitant and expect the other person to the lead. Likewise, I don’t smile when I meet other brothers, or if I do, its a half-hearted smile. I know these are blameworthy traits but I am not sure what to do to overcome these. I would request you to please give me some nasiha that may help me in gaining a better insight into this problem, and perhaps changing this behavior. May Allah reward you.
Wa alaykum as salam
All praise is for Allah. Your question is very much reflective of your correct understanding of deen particularly tasawwuf and a sincere desire for Allah’s pleasure. May Allah give these to me also and increase them in us manifolds. Amin!
Being quiet and not socializing with anyone are good things for a salik. It enables him to concentrate on his objective. However, balance has to be maintained in these also. The perfect balance is the Sunna.
In your situation, most likely this is due to shyness (excessive hiya).
The treatment is to overcome this by self determination. Especially, in places where it might be religiously detrimental. That is, initiating salam, informing someone of their incorrect action, etc.
Make an intention of following the Sunna and initiate these activities, like salam, smile at the brother you meet, interact with humility and full attention when meeting relatives and stangers, etc.
Make dua also in this regards.
InshaAllh you will succeed.
muhtaj e dua