Shaikh Mohammad Kaleem (Allah preserve him) a senior khalifa of Arif billah Dr Abdul Hayy Arifi (Allah have mercy on him) said to a brother who lost his twenty three year old son suddenly,
‘Your crying and grief on this loss is all right. Actually it is right of the departed relative(‘s love).
In spite of the right of Allah to do whatsoever in His creation He knew that they are weak and wavering human beings so three days of mourning was allowed. During these three days observe mourning, accept and acknowledge condolence.
After these three days do not mourn more on purpose and intention.
However, it is quite fine if his thoughts come to you unintentionally or he is discussed in usual everyday conversation. Each time this happens recite with contemplation (as mentioned earlier)
أنا لله و أنا اليه راجعون
This will bring the same immense reward for patience done initially. Doing this repeatedly will create a vicious cycle of patience and its reward. A continuous and immense reward indeed.’
Shaikh Mohammad Kaleem sahib db’s residence. Darul Uloom Karachi, Sunday, noon, 18th December 2012.