Category Archives: T. Tarbiyet

Contains principle and guidelines on training and disciplining of the morals (ikhlaq) of murid

Communication with Shaikh

A seeker wrote,


Jazakallahukhair
Hazrat Ali Mian (Allah have mercy on him) told us to do the 3 tasbeehat of durood,astaghfar and 3rd kalima.

Unfortunately i dont do them regularly.I just do some zikr of durood and istaghfar randomly or while doing some household work.

Maybe i should try to be punctual in those before taking bayat from someoneelse?

Ashrafiya replied,

JazakAllah for the kind email. It is very much reflective of your ture yearning (talub). MashaAllah. May Allah increase it with afiyet. Amin.

Yes continue with what Hadhrat instructed.

If due to work, etc you cannot do 100 times, do 33 or 11 times daily. However, fix a time for them, for example after asr salah.

Also, make daily esal e sawab for him, atleast surah ikhlas 3 times.

In the meantime look for a Shaykh with whom you can easily communicate. The reality of bayat is to get instructions (to lead a true Islamic life). These are individualized to your circumstances and therefore, more beneficial then other good advice.

Please, do try to make dua for me.

muhtaj

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Second Shaikh

A seeker wrote,

Can I become a muridah of Shaikh Hazrat Taqi Usmani Sahab.
I was previously a murida of Shaikh Abul Hasan Ali Nadwi (Allah have mercy on him) from India.

Ashrafiya replied,

It is a great blessing of Allah that you are a muridah of Hadhrat Ali mian (Allah have mercy on him).

I pray and hope that you are continuing with what Hadhrat ra told you to do, such as tasbihat, Quran recitation (tilawat), reading (mutala‘) etc.

As a basic rule, it is most beneficial that after the passing away of his/her Shaykh a murid should associate with Shaykh’s senior khulafa (representatives) to continue the journey on the same track.

However, if due to unavoidable circumstances you can not contact any of those khulafa then you can correspond with sayyidi wa sanadi Hadhrat Mawlana Mohammad Taqi Usmani (may Allah preserve & protect him) for islah and bayiat.

Please, feel free to ask any questions in this regards if necessary.

Islahi emails

Memorizing

A seeker wrote, The rest of the mamoolaat are going good but memorising duas from the book Uswae Rasul e Akram is going weak. I always find it very hard to memorize the Quran and duas (and remember them). Please make dua in this regard.

Ashrafiya replied,
Amin!
I usually take a picture of the dua in my mobile phone and recite it (reading the text at appropriate times). Eventually it is memorized.

Islahi emails:TA

Levels of beautification

A seeker wrote,

The aspect of show off (riya kari). How do I figure out if we are spending money to beautify the house for ourselves or so that it looks nice for guests?

Is decorating so that it looks nice to the guests riya kari?


Sayyidi wa sanadi Mufti Taqi Usmani (Allah protect & preserve him) reminds us of the 4 levels of beatification as told by Hakim al-Ummat ra,

Bare minimum for residence (Rehaish)

Comfortable living (aasaish)

Decorating it (araaish) for ones own liking and

Decorating it to show off (numaish).

First 3 are permissible and the last is impermissible.

Islahi emails:TA

Extravagant spending

A seeker wrote,

In the last month I spent a lot of time along with my family members on picking up the interior materials like carpet, hardwood, cabinets, counters etc. We also got a lot of stuff that we really liked it e.g. best quality hardwood flooring, better appliances etc. For a lot of the things we could have gone with much cheaper stuff but we spent money on what we liked in a reasonable limit. At the same time I feel we didn’t stretch our selves beyond our means. A few points that I wanted to mention InshaAllah the aspect of ‘fuzool kharchi’ Although I spent the money, I am thinking that may be the $20,000 spent on the upgrades should have been given to the poor (for the size of our house I have normally seen people spending around 60000 – 80000 in upgrades, as the builders give really cheap stuff by default).

Ashrafiya replied,

This is not extravagant spending (fuzool kharchi).

The money spend for the comfort of family, friend and other Muslims is also rewarding.

Also, it will make your thankfulness (shukur) more heartfelt.

Islahi emails:TA

Levels of Humility

A seeker wrote, what I overwhelmingly feel is that humility is absent.

Ashrafiya replied,

Humility has several levels.

InshaAllah you have the basic level.

You are aiming for a higher level. InshaAllah it will come with time. Keep doing whatever you are doing. Make repentance and ask Allah for this also.


Humility increases with increase in Gnosis (marfat). That is recognizing the true stature and grandeur of Allah, & His immense blessings on a undeserving and disobedient slave, like me.

Islahi emails:TA

Feeling Gifted

A seeker wrote, I wanted to explain one behaviour in this regard. Whenever I see people who have been blessed a little less in one department e.g. Appearance or intelligence, a thought comes to my mind like feeling sorry for the person. I try my best not to be judgemental about the person based on that or comment in front of anyone else. I feel guilt about this reaction.
I wanted to add that I don’t feel this way when the person leading the
salah is older than me or has a more shari appearance or demonstrably
more knowledgeable in Islam.
Which may mean that I consider myself superior to someone who does not fit in one of the above mentioned groups, astaghfirullah. Although I do try my best to think and negate this false feeling of superiority when I remember.

Ashrafiya replied,

It is natural to feel gifted compared to others.

However, we must be excessively thanful to Allah for this benovence for selecting us and not placing us in the deprived category.

Also, we should remind ourself that these blessings are purely a gift of Allah and my own effort or capabilities or virtues having nothing whatsoever to do with them. Allah who has given this has full control to take away whenever He so decides.

Combining these thoughts actively will inshaAllah lead to more humbleness and gratitude.

Islahi emails:TA

Feeling sad

A seeker wrote,

Another problem I feel is that whenever I get really sad, feel loney or get depressed then my heart does not find peace. Not even in salat. I cannot concentrate . I donot know why it is and how can I can resolve it.

Ashrafiya replied,

Try to keep a positive outlook.
Thank Allah for each and every blessing.
Set aside 5 minutes daily to do this. Enumerate all the blessings, e.g. life, well functioning body organs & systems, health, husband, daughter, wealth, house, etc.

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Humility

A seeker wrote,

This question is about an issue that I feel seriously effects me. Its about considering myself better than others. I am not sure how to explain it properly but I feel that I think this way. I feel there is a sense of ‘kibr’ in me, the humility that should be the defining characteristic of a good muslim just seems to be absent. I feel I have to fake the humility constantly.
I constantly try to focus on the good qualities of other people and ponder upon the humility of our pious predecessors. But I feel my natural instinct is a feeling of superiority which I know has no basis.

Ashrafiya replied,
InshaAllah, with increasing marifet this humility will become more evident.

For the present make it a practice to recall whenever you see someone that he is superior to me and I am the most inferior (haqeer) of all.

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Doubt of Show off

A seeker wrote,

When I am asked to lead a salat I notice that I tend to offer it more properly. I feel that I have the responsibility of others. Is this show off (riyakari)?

Ashrafiya replied,
No. It is natural to do so under pressure. However, there should not be any drastic changes. Also, Imam’s salah should be very concise and light.

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Living in joint family

In response to a question regarding living in joint family Ashrafiya replied,

It is highly discouraged these days.

However, you have to be very gentle, humble and diplomatic in conveying this to your parents.

Do it slowly. Be open. Prepare well before the discussion. Show extreme empathy and understanding. Stress that you are totally committed for close family ties and it is only to maintain these it is in the best interest of all to live separately. It can be upper lower level or adjacent or same neighborhood residence.

Make lot of dua regarding this. InshaAllah best will happen.

Islahi emails:TA

Accommodate & Adjust

A novice seeker wrote,

In the summer time, due to the extreme times for Isha and Fajr, is it ok if I pray Maghrib with jamat, Isha at home and then Fajr with jamat or should I aim to pray all the salats with jamat.

Ashrafiya replied,

Yes.

Adjust and accommodate as the situation requires.

Do not be rigid and do not set unrealistic goals. Both of these lead to disater. Allahuma hafizna.
Jamat itself is desired. (Try to do it at home)

Make istegfar for missing the masjid.
We are weak and its is reflecteive of our slavehood(abdiyet) more to do so.

Islahi emails:TA