An individual requested special prayers (dua) complaining that his wife was irritating him a lot.
Hakim al-Umma Hadhrat Mawlana Ashraf ‘Ali Thanawi (may Allah have mercy on him) replied,
“Do not be distrubed by wife’s pestering. This is also a spiritual struggle (mujahida). You will be rewarded for it*. Let her annoy you.”
Tarbiyet us Salik, volume 1, page 432
*(Especially, if you handle the situation correctly with the patience, wisdom and kind & caring attitude in return.)
Hadhrat Mawlana Mufti Mohammad Taqi Usmani (may Allah preserve him) told a disciple, who had taken multiple loans (non-interest bearing) and was unable to pay them back, to write in detail regarding the payment of these debts in every letter written to him (usually fortnightly or monthly).
He was instructed to write these financial matters first and then mention issues realted to tareeq (that is consistency on wird, manifestation of blameworthy or lack of praise worthy morals, etc).
Hadhrat has on multiple occassions instructed to write down all such issues clearly in a diary, accessible to very close relatives, in case of sudden emergency or death. That is for the arrangement for posthumous clearance of these debts. This is essential.
It is an outstanding feature of Ashrafiya tariqa to have crystal clear financial dealings. Any mureed who does not recognize the importance of these issues is for sure not going to progress much in this spiritual path.
Mufti Mohammad Shafi’ (may Allah have mercy on him) said explaining the verses of sura al-Hujjarat,
‘Some scholars say that if someone has made a pious person his spiritual guide (murshid), and then he behaves rudely and with contempt towards him, similarly (to the effects of rude behavior towards the Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم described in these verses) this often becomes a source of removal of facility (tawfeeq) of good actions and leads to great deprivation. It eventually results in loss of wealth of faith (eman).
May Allah save us all from this. Ameen!”
Ma’ariful Quran, volume 8, page 102
A mureed wrote about his excessive anger on non-Islamic actions committed by his family members. This was causing lot of frictions between the relatives.
Hakim al Umma Hadhrat Mawlana Ashraf ‘Ali Thanawi (may Allah have mercy on him) adviced him,
“It is the responsibility of a mentor or a leader to hold those under his supervision accountable for their actions. You are currently busy in your own reformation (islah) and should not have time for all of this. It is inappropriate for you to interfere in anyone’s affairs.”
Hakim al umma Hadhra Mawlana Ashraf ‘Ali Thanawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said,
“Understand this thoroughly; it is not essential (wajib) for the wife to serve her mother-in-law. If you are a caring son, provide service to her yourself or get a servant to do so.”
Islah inqelab, volume 2, page 188, via Tohfa zojain page 24
Hadhrat Hakim al-Umma Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanawi (may Allah have mercy on him said,
“Whenever I find the need of reforming myself, I speak on that specific shortcoming of mine (in a public lecture). This is a very beneficial. My speech entitled Ghadab (Anger) is an example of this.”
Hadhrat Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani (may Allah preserve him) writes;
“To love for the sake of Allah” means loving someone, not for any worldly gain, but because he is more religious and pious or he is very learned in Deen or is busy in serving the cause of Deen or because loving him or her is commanded by Allah, e.g. one’s parents.”
“Easy Good Deeds”
Source: An excellent blog:at-Tazkirah: التذكرة
Hadhrat Mawlana Mohammad Taqi Usmani (may Allah preserve him) instructed an individual who complained of very few social relationships:
Hakim al-Umma Hadhrat Mawlana Ashraf ‘Ali Thanawi (may Allah have mercy on him) once said:
The sum total of good character is to avoid causing inconvenience to anyone.
The Messenger of Allah sallahu ‘alayhi wasallam forbade anyone from lifting (hiding) the stick (such as a walking stick) of his Muslim brother even if it is out of jest, for this would cause him distress.
Making people laugh at the expense of others is also prohibited due to the embarrassment and inconvenience it may cause.
Source:
Pearls of the Elders:an excellent blog. Excerpts from the biographies, sayings and writings of the ‘Ulama of Deoband
Sayyidi wa sanadi Hazrat Mawlana Mohammad Taqi Usmani sahib db adviced an individual:
“You should take special care and arrange for sources of permissible entertainment for your wife, who observes purdha“.
PF:Mataar Jeddah, al-fursan lounge 31/1/07, to Dubai, MENA-Prevnar Conference
Hakeemul Ummat Hazrat Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanawi ra said;
“In this day and age it is most appropriate that soon after marriage adult children live separate from their parents. This is blissful for both of them.”
Tuhfa e zowjain, page 2
“This separate residence is an essential (wajib) right of the wife (when she demands it). Even if parents oppose (moving out), they are not to be obeyed.”
Imdadul fatawa, page 525, via: Tohfa e zowjain, page 22
Hazrat Mawlana Yusuf Ludhiyanawi shaheed ra (khalifa of Sheikhul Hadith Mawlana Zakariya ra & Hazrat Arifi ra) said;
“It is reported from Hazrat Hatim ‘Asim ra that if there is disagreement either between your sister and brother-in law or your daughter and son-in-law you should be taking sides with your in-laws.
By doing this you will safe guard the piety of you sister and daughter. Whereas if you support your sister and daughter against their husbands you will harm their piety.”
Jang Karachi, Iqra, 7/12/1990
Hazrat Hasan Abbas sahib, son of Hazrat Arifi ra told us that his blessed father advised him and his brothers that in order to maintain good mutual friendly relationship amongst themselves they should avoid the followings;
1. Giving opinion or consultation, without been requested to do so.
2. Criticism of each other, especially in public.
3. Interference in each other’s affairs.
Teen tark, pda, December 2003
Sayyidi wa sanadi Hazrat Mawlana Mohammad Taqi Usmani sahib db said:
There should never be any arguments with one’s parents.
You can explain and elaborate your viewpoint to them but arguing is out of question.
Malfoozat Kebriyet e Ahmer, number 25
An individual inquired if it was permissible to wish non-Muslims on their religious holidays. For example, saying mubarak ho, etc.
Sayyidi wa sanadi Hazrat Mawlana Mohammad Taqi Usmani sahib db said;
“To make dua for barakah for them (on these occasions) is impermissible. However, wishing them prosperity and well being is fine. The word “congratulations” implies this second meanings and not the first. So it is permissible to congratulate them.”
Islahi khutoot