Sidi wa sanadi Hazrat Mufti Mohammad Taqi Usmani sahib db said explaining a malfooz of Hakeemul Ummat ra,
As an individual’s taqwa (Allah swt’s fear) increases so does his love for his wife enhances.
This is because he is aware of the obligations imposed by Allah swt regarding her rights on him. He realizes that he is bound to undertake them. So with this intention when he fulfils her rights he gets reward (thawab, also).
Islahi-majalis 195/4
Sidi wa sanadi Hazrat Moulana Mufti Mohammad Taqi Usmani dbt told us the following regarding his Sheikh Arif-billah Dr Abdul Hayy Arifi ra.
During the 55 years of their married life Dr. Abdul Hayy Arifi ra never ever spoke to his wife with the tone of his voice changing (as to show anger/frustration etc.). This is the real karamat. (That is to have such a high degree of humility, patience and control over your nafs (self) as not to reveal your emotions).
Walking on water and flying in air are considered to be karamat by common people but in reality they are nothing compared to this bay nafasi (selflessness).
وہ تو وہ ہیں تمہیں ہو جائیگی الفت مجھ سے
اک نظر–میرا— محبوب نظر-تو– دیکھو
عارفی رح
As mentioned earlier, this is a physician-patient relationship.
The mureed tells/writes about his spiritual ailments seeking remedy. He has to be explicit and candid about his condition. Hiding vital information leads to nowhere and eventually mureed himself is the looser.
The Sheikh reviews mureed’s condition, taking into account his spiritual ailments/deficiencies, physical and working requirements and environment. He then prescribes a treatment plan. There may be multiple components of this plan.
The mureed has to follow this plan unconditionally.
If he faces difficulties in doing so he has to inform the Sheikh. And then follow the next advice.
The doctor may be the best in the whole world.
His diagnosis may be 100% accurate.
The treatment prescribed and made available may be the finest.
With all this in place,
if Mr. Mureed decides not to use it or use it partially, (using his brains)
how can a cure be imagined, less achieved?
A sincere mureed’s duty is to inform the Sheikh of his present condition.
That is, he reviews his daily activities, dealings and intentional thoughts. He analyzes them. He looks for any blame worthy traits that may be active in his intentions and actions or any praise worthy states that are deficient. He describes the actual case scenarios and asks assistance from Sheikh for diagnosis and treatment. He follows the recommendations of Sheikh and reports back. Adjustment may be made, treatment fined tuned and tailored accordingly. This process continues for a considerable period of time till a healthy spiritual state is reached, that is, achievement of nisbat-e-batini(a sustainable mutual relationship with Allah swt).
As every patient’s condition is different so is the treatment plan.
It is this individual attention and instruction which gives Tasawwuf a unique effectiveness in bringing about a permanent, durable and wholesome change for a complete Islamic life in its fullest sense.