Category Archives: J. Rights

Wife’s monthly Stipend

A newlywed mureed inquired:

“I am planning to give an amount of money to my wife monthly.  Can I make intention of paying off “maher” in it?  And if so, is it necessary to inform her regarding it.”

Sayyidi wa sanadi Hazrat Mufti Mohammad Taqi Usmani db replied:

“An amount of money should be given to the wife monthly as “pocket money”.  This amount should be enough to easily payoff her basic (personal) expenses. And also, the zakat due on her can be paid from it.  This stipend should never be counted as “maher” amount.

However, an amount additional to this stipend can be given with intention of “maher”.  The best way to do so is to open a bank account for her and deposit this amount monthly in it. Let her know that this saving is the “maher” money.  This is because smaller amounts that are given are spend easily and the benefits of a larger amount in hand are lost.”

Islahi khutoot

Kids:Establishing habit of praying Fajar

A mureed inquired, “My daughter is mashaAllah, 10 years old now. Alhumdulillah, she has been consistent with four of the five daily salah  (prayers) since 7 years of age. The question is regarding the fajar prayers. How much disciplining must be done to achieve this?

My wife and I differ. I force her up physically, while my wife restricts to verbal commands only.

Please, advise us to the correct method in this issue. JazakAllah.

Sayyidi wa sanadi Hazrat Mufti Mohammad Taqi Usmani sahib db replied,

“It is essential to acknowledge the fact that if the habit of performing fajar at its appropriate time is not established at this young age, it will be very difficult to establish it later in life.

Therefore, it is quite appropriate to try your best and make her pray on time.  However, it should be with gentleness never using any corporeal punishment.”

Etiquettes of being Imam

Hakeemul Ummat Hazrat Moulana Shah Ashraf Ali Thanvi ra said;

“If you were to be the imam to lead in a congregational salah offer very light (short, succinct & manageable) prayers.

This is because there are different kinds of people behind you. Some of them may suffer if you do not do this (i.e. either they may be sick or in a hurry). If you do not care for them they may develop an aversion from praying in congregation.”

Taleem ud Deen, page 30, Taj Co. editiion

My Designation

Sayyidi wa sanadi Hazrat Mawlana Mufti Mohammad Taqi Usmani (Allah SWT preserve him and allow us to benefit from him abundantly. Ameen!), said:

“Always consider yourself to be a khadim (servant).”

Islahi khatoot

Allah SWT’s slave indeed. And His muklooq’s servant, especially providing service to one’s spouse, children, and other close family members’.

Importance of Fulfilling the Rights of Others

Emphasizing the importance of fulfilling the rights of other especially for those involved in their islah (i.e. salikeen), Hakeemul Ummat Hazrat Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanawi ra said:

“Diregarding or being negligent in fulfilling the specific rights of others as prescribed by Shariah is a sin and hence an obstacle in reaching the goal (in tareeq. That is, gaining the pleasure of Allah SWT). Especially the rights of one’s spouse.”

Ma’asir e Hakeemul Ummat ra page 370

Ignoring the Suhba of Ahlul-Allah

 

In a letter Shaikh al Hadith Maulana Zakariya Kandhlawi/Madani (1898 –1982) wrote to Maulana Abdul Majid Daryabadi (1892 –1977) [Allah have mercy on them]:

Suhba (company) of ahul-Allah (the pious) holds a unique position and importance in bringing about firmness in actions, correct understanding of religion and motivation to act on demands of faith.

Ignoring the suhba of pious is one of the tribulations (fitnah) from the many major ordeals of our era.

No doubt, a lot of information can be acquired from reading books. But the effectiveness of accompanying a living (pious) person is totally unique.

I agree it is essential to safe oneself from worshiping the Sheikh. But ignoring the suhba of pious is equally destructive.

Specially, the fatal moral characteristics of u’jub (high regard for self), arrogance, importance of self suggestion and self admiration can never be eliminated without the company of the pious (especially the Shaikh).”

Hakeemul Ummat ra, (by Mawlana Abdul Majid Daryabadi ra) page 568-9

Tip for Best Marital Relationship

Hazrat Hakeemul Ummat Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanavi ra adviced:

‘The effective method to have an accommodating relationship with one’s wife is to keep her happy.

Similarly, this (keeping happy) is also effective to have a fully satisfied husband.’

Maa’sir e Hakeemul Ummat ra page 424

Advice to the bridegroom!

Last evening at the nikah ceremony of Sayyidi wa sanadi Hazrat Mawlana Mohammad Taqi Usmani db’s daughter at Darul Uloom mosque, Hazrat Nawab Eshrat Ali Khan Qaiser db while making dua said;

“I repeat the advice rendered by Arif billah Dr. Abdul Hayy Arifi ra to the bride groom at my daughter’s nikah. That is,

غصہ مت کرنا۔

اور

ناقدری نہ کرنا۔

Do not get angry and never depreciate her.”

In this succinct recommendation lies the secret of a successful married life.

All of us who are trying to develop a relationship with our Lord (ta’luq ma Allah SWT) should take a moment to reflect on our own attitude towards our spouse.

Wa ma tawfeeqi ila billah

Etiquettes of being Civilized #1

1. You visit someone or want to ask a question from someone, but you observe that he is busy in some activity. For example, he is reading Quran, or his wird, or purposely sitting in solitude writing, or getting ready to go to sleep,etc.. In summary any activity that your intervention will distract him from and be a source of encumbrance and discomfort, then it will be best to avoid any talk with him at that time. Wait till he is free.

However, if it is regarding something absolutely essential then ask his permission before proceeding.

2. While waiting to meet someone. Do not sit in place or adopt a posture that shows the person you are waiting for him. It will unnecessarily distract him and cause spiritual inattentiveness. You should wait for him at a distant place away from his sight.

3. Do not shake hands with someone whose hands are occupied, and freeing them will be an unpleasant task. Suffice on greeting him with salaam only.

4. Similarly, when visiting a person who is very busy do not wait to be told to be seated. Find an appropriate place and sit.

5. While talking be direct, concise and clear. Do not use slang, elusive or effusive language.

Aadab ul Ma’ashrat page 9-10

Etiquettes of being a Civilized Individual

The rulings of Shariah have been broadly classified into five categories. They are:
1. those related to the beliefs (‘aqaid)
2. those pertaining to the forms of worship (‘ibadaat)
3. those related to the mutual financial transactions (ma’amlaat)
4. those associated with manners of civilized living (ma’ashrat) and
5. finally, those dealing with the inner morals (ikhlaq)

It is sad to see that most of us, Muslims, only consider a’qaid and ‘ibadaat to be the components of deen and are completely ignorant of the rest.

Few select practicing ones include ma’amlaat to be deen also.

Ikhlaq, all praise to Allah SWT is practiced by those involved in tasawwuf.

The Shariah ruling regarding how to live a civilized life is abandoned by most of us.
However, it is ironic that we brothers/sister who are involved in discussions of higher & lofty realities of Tasawwuf are disregarding the rights of fellow individuals. The fact remains true that the rights of fellow human beings (haqqul ‘abd) can not be forgiven by repentance alone. It require asking forgiveness from the aggrieved individual. Most of us are totally unaware of the rulings of Shariah pertaining to the etiquettes of civilized living. The extent of this ignorance is so great that enemies of Muslims regard Islam to be incompatible with the civilized world life. Post 9/11 western strategy is to modify Islam to make it civilized.Hakeem ul Ummat Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanawi ra being the mujaddid high lighted the importance of these rulings in most of his discourses and writings. The most beneficial of these is a concise treatise “Aadab ul Ma’ashrat” (Etiquettes of Civilized living).
The importance of this book is evident by the fact that it is the first reading in the nisab e Tasawwuf (curriculum for salikeen) recommended by Hakeemul Ummat ra.
The basic principle underlying the rulings of civilized living is,
“My words, actions and attitude should not be the source of any discomfort or annoyance for fellow human beings at all.”
InshaAllah, quotes from this book regarding some important and common lapses in our every day (uncivilized) life will be posted here.
Allah SWT give us the tawfeeq. Ameen!

RAMADAN SCHEDULE

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Make a practical and doable time table for daily activities.

The point to remember is that in Ramadan acts of primary form of worship are to be increased. These lead to an increasing direct relationship with Allah SWT (i.e. ta’luq ma’Allah).

This must include the following:

Tahajjud Salah: Easier than usual as one has to get up for suhoor. Preferably 8 rakah.

Dowazdah tasbeeh & zikr Ism e zaat
As instructed by the Sayyidi wa sanadi Hazrat Sheikh db.

At tahajjud real, sincere dua and begging for Allah SWT’s mercy, love, guidance, strong relationship, true knowledge & understanding of deen, observance of Sunnah and a’fiyah in this world and the after-life
Munajat e maqbool: Daily manzil (hizb).

Al fathiha: Recite سورة الفاتحة 41 times, preceded and followed with durood درود شريف 11 times between the Sunnah and faraz of fajar.

Recite Shajarah daily and make esal-e-sawab for theses pious predecessors.

Recite سورة يس after fajar.

Tasbehat: Hundred times each as instructed by Sayyidi wa sanadi Hazrat Sheikh db.

1)سبحان الله و بحمده سبحان الله العظيم

2) سبحان الله والحمد لله و لا اله الالله و الله اكبر

3) استغفار

4) درود شريف

5) لا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله العلى العظيم

Tilawat Quran majeed: At least one parah (hizb) daily. This is the basic essential. Increase it as much as possible depending on your schedule. 

Ishraq salah: Approximately twelve minutes after sunrise pray 2 rakah.

Chaast salah: Around 10 AM 2-4 rakah

Awabeen salah: 6 rakah after maghrib

(PS: Nawafil are for those who do not have any qaza salah pending.)

Recite سورة واقعه after zuhar

Reciteمزمل سورة after maghrib

Recite سورة سجده and سورة ملك after e’sha & taraweeh 

Taraweeh:
Twenty rakah in jama’h.

In each taraweeah (i.e. resting between each 4 rakah) Hazrat Thanvi ra

used to recite درود شريف25 times.

Kalimah e tayyabah:
لا اله الالله with occasional محمد رسول الله , 500 times after taraweeh and in all other
spare times while doing the daily chores.

Muraqaba:
Try to concentrate on: “I am in front of Allah SWT and He is watching me.”
Five minutes, immediately following asr prayers.

This is the soul and essence of fasting. Try and extend it to other daily activities.

Excessive dua/prayers:
Any time you get a chance.
Especially prior to the iftar. Reserve 10 to 15 minutes for this alone.

Ask above all for Allah SWT’s pleasure, acceptance, jannah, refuge from His displeasure and hellfire.
All other minute and big things desired.
Most importantly to be included in His awliya (special friends).
Pray for the Muslims suffering around the world and betterment of the Ummah’s condition.

P.S. Each individual should do in consultation with his/her Shiekh what is practical for him her.

Also, it is essential to remember faraiz and wajibat (work,study & taking care of family) have priority over nawafil.

Attitude to be Adopted for Issues Differed Upon

Hazrat Hakeemul Ummat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi ra advised a mureed in regards to issues differed (ikhtalafi amoor) upon by scholars:

1. You should not initiate discussion with others regarding these issues.
2. If some one questions you regarding your action, make an appropriate excuse.
3. If someone asks you regarding these issues for his own understanding/research and action, explain it to him.
4. For those who ask just to ridicule and bicker, tell them to consult other scholars.”

Tarbiyat us Salik volume 2, page 1195

‎با مدعی مگوئید اسرار عشق و مستی
بگذار- تا بمیرد در رنج خود – پرستی

Upbringing Muslim Children

Hazrat Hakeemul Ummat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi ra said:

Most of the people do not pay necessary attention required for the proper upbringing (tarbiyat) in childhood. They condone accurate training saying they are just kids.

However, this is the age for establishing permanent habits. The characteristics developed in this period last for ever. This is the time to correct the morals (Ikhlaq) and strengthen their thoughts (khayalat) (Islamically).

Hence, a child stays with his parents from birth and regards them his mother and father, respectively. Later in life even a lot of people were to raise suspicion about this, he will never doubt about them being his parents. The teachings of childhood are so solid that they do not wear away except when Allah SWT wants them to be erased.

Malfoozat-e-kamalat-e-Ashrafiya #637, pg 146

Raising Muslim children is very challenging and one of the most difficult responsibilities for the parents.

Following are some essential tips to help.
They have been gathered from saying of our pious elders (akabir):

1. Set an example/role model for them by doing your self-reformation (islah) with sincerity.

2. Make the environment of the home Islamic as much as possible.

3. Maintain exemplary relations with your spouse.

4. Give them the best of your attention, love, material resources, time and training. But set expected standards and implement them firmly.

5. Make a routine of reading regularly from the books of our mashaykh with them. Select simple books, like Bashiti zewar, Hayyutul Muslimeen, Asan nakiyan. Daily 2 -3 pages. At the most 10 to 15 minutes. This is the most stressed and most beneficial. Do not worry if they seem too young to understand. Develop a habit. InshaAllah, it will illuminate their heart and make it receptive of good later in life.

6. Remember making them truly religious is more important than making them hafiz and alim. A non-practicing hafiz/alim is worse than a practicing jahil.

7. Take them regularly to visit mashaykh and to get their dua.

8. Select a pious Sheikh/scholar who is steadfast in following Shariah & Sunnah in your locality and visit his lectures and discourses regularly.

9. Make dua for them a lot. For their efficient religious upbringing and also sufficient worldly progress. Mufti-e-Azam Pakistan Hazrat Mufti Mohammed Shafi’ ra has mentioned in Mariful Quran that the most successful means for the upbringing (tarbiyat) of children is parents’ dua.

And the success is from Allah SWT .

The Islahi Correspondence between Mureed & Sheikh

This islahi/self-reformation correspondence is the vital cornerstone of sulook in our path.
–
Mureed writes about his state in regards to observance of Shariah, the wird prescribed, overwhelming thoughts and any questionable moral traits demonstrated in every day life in dealing with self and others. The Sheikh reviews it and diagnoses any ailments, if present and treats as appropriate.

To be definitely effective this has to be at regular intervals, usually once every month or fortnightly.

It is alchemy.

Recognizing its importance, nafs & shaytan try their best to put obstacles for doing it successfully. Mureed becomes lazy & slack, finding numerous excuses for not doing it. Even if he sits down to write a letter, he can not recall anything ‘significant’ to convey.

Once as similar mureed wrote to Sidi wa sandi Hazrat Moulana Mohammad Taqi Usmani sahib (Allah SWT preserve him & allow us to benefit from him a lot. Ameen!) that I can not bring to mind any thing to write in my letter.

Hazrat db replied:
“Writing even this, itself is sufficient.”

This is because; it keeps you in the habit of writing letters to the Sheikh, shows your concern and sincerity for self reformation, is an opportunity to request for dua and informs the Sheikh that at least you are not deteriorating and seeing your effort he makes special dua for you.
–
Hazrat db also said;
“For mureed who do not have the opportunity to be in close direct contact with the Sheikh to discuss their states in person regularly, it is essential to have this islahi correspondence. The mureed and even the Sheikh who do not recognize this are committing a fundamental mistake in Tasawwuf (especially our tareeq/path).”

Influencing your Wife!

–
Arif billah Hazrat Dr. Abdul-Hayy Arifi ra said:
–
“Special effort should be made to keep a beautiful attitude towards one’s wife.
She has adopted your companionship leaving her parents, siblings and other close relatives. You have to compensate her for all these caring relationships by loving her dearly.
–
If you are patient on anything hurtful from her you will be rewarded (by Allah SWT). Her inappropriate attitude can not be corrected by your anger and wrath. But the best way to achieve that is to control your anger completely at that moment. And some time later (at an appropriate occasion) gently and with compassion let her know the mistake she made. (With this approach) even if she has a grain of aptitude for correction, she will accept your counsel and reform herself.”
–
Sukoon-e-qalb 46